John,
This looks like a good paper. I am wondering whether it is a bit long as an
introduction, or rather short as a detailed implementation guide. It seems
closer to the former, in which case I think I would take out the rather busy
diagrams. I have less detailed versions if you think something is needed. In
this case, I might move the Terminology section later as well.
In terms of detail, at an editorial level, I would remove the "eg"s and use
words like "such as" instead. CORE was also renamed a while ago as the
Co-ordinated Online Record (not Register) of Electors.
Regards
Paul Spencer
Director
Boynings Consulting Ltd
http://boynings.co.uk
