RE: [election-services] EML TOP REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL APPROVAL

I also 
like it, but would add to Richard's comments:

 

1. On 
page 1, the "smart quote" for '08 should be a closing, rather than an opening 
quote.

 

2. On 
page 2, the bullets for "As an election administrator" are larger than the 
others.

 

3. 
Also in this group, it would be better if, in the last bullet, the second line 
was indented to match the start of the first (i.e. "Political" is aligned with 
"I want").

 

4. On 
pp2,4, should the URL at the bottom point to the E&VSTC 
page?

 

5. p2, 
4th group, 3rd bullet, the "so I can" looks slightly wrong. This might just be 
an optical illusion, or it could be that there are multiple spaces or the 
font changes.

 

6. 
pp3,4: again, I would align the word wraps for the headings so that the number 
stand out.

 

7. At 
the end of page 4, I would change the wording to: "For more information and the 
"Case for EML" white paper, see the OASIS Voter Services website: http://www...". That leaves out the repeated "the" and puts 
the URL at the end, where I think it looks better. I would also leave the URL 
the same colour as the rest of the text.

 

8. 
Should we find somewhere to put in a paragraph about OASIS and its relationship 
with EML? Perhaps right at the end in a smaller font?

 

Regards

 

Paul

  
-----Original Message-----
From: Richard J Cardone 
  [mailto:]
Sent: 30 November 2008 
  19:25
To: John Borras
Cc: Carol Geyer; EML 
  TC
Subject: Re: [election-services] EML TOP REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL 
  APPROVAL

John, 
  

The document is polished and very 
  appealing.  Here are some typographical checks and minor text changes 
  that might be considered: 

  
    
Page 2, the "As an Election 
    Administrator" heading appears to be in a larger font than the other 
    headings on the same page. 
    
Page 2, the 3rd bullet under "As an 
    Election Manager" uses a different font for the last two letters of the last 
    word ("solution"). 
    
Page 3, heading 1 can be shortened 
    to "Verifiable Elections and Referendums". 
    
Page 3, heading 1, bullet 3, might 
    read, "Allows end-to-end implementation of audit and control 
    mechanisms". 
    
Page 3, heading 3, can be shortened 
    to "Supports Paper and Electronic Ballots". 
    
Page 3, heading 4, bullet 1 should 
    be split into 2 bullets at the semi-colon.  

Rich 

  
    
    

      John Borras 
        <> 
        
11/30/2008 05:52 AM 

      
        
          
          

            
              
To

            EML TC 
              <> 
          

            
              
cc

            Carol Geyer 
              <> 
          

            
              
Subject

            [election-services] EML TOP 
              REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL APPROVAL

        
          
          

            
            

Following some very good design work by David W we've now come up the 
  attached as the final version of the Top Reasons document.  The text is 
  as per the last round of discussions; all that's changed now is the layout and 
  presentation. 
  
We've 
  debated this at length over the last few weeks and therefore I don't see the 
  need to hold a formal ballot to approve it's publication. So unless I hear any 
  objections by the end of this week, ie by 5th December, I'll go ahead and 
  publish it on the TC website and other OASIS outlets.  I hope you will 
  also send it to your contacts. 
  
Thanks to all for the input, I think we now have a very good publicity 
  document that will help sell our message.

Regards
John 

M. 
  +44 (0)7976 157745
Skype: gov3john 
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