RE: [pbd-se] Groups - pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx uploaded

Regrettably, this version does not reflect any of the suggested edits circulated by the IPC to the group on Friday, June 6th

See attached.

 

From:  [mailto:]
On Behalf Of Dawn Jutla

Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2014 7:52 AM

To: 

Subject: [pbd-se] Groups - pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx uploaded

 

Submitter's message

Clean copy - Updated with TC edits received to June 10, 2014. 

-- Dr. Dawn Jutla 

Document Name:

pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx

Description

Working Draft - Clean copy 

Download Latest Revision

Public Download Link

Submitter: Dr. Dawn Jutla

Group: OASIS Privacy by Design Documentation for Software Engineers (PbD-SE) TC

Folder: Documents

Date submitted: 2014-06-10 04:51:27

 

--- Begin Message ---

From: Fred Carter <>

To: "'Dawn Jutla ()'" <>, "Michelle Chibba" <>

Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2014 20:37:54 +0000

Dawn,

Attached are some editorial touch-ups to the new draft spec version, showing all revisions.

Basically, I have:

·        
Fixed a couple small typos (e.g. dates of publication, missing periods)

·        
Fixed some formatting (e.g. colored fonts, paragraph spacing, etc)

·        
removed some duplication (e.g. “(PbD)” and “(FIPPs)”)

·        
made more consistent certain key terms, notably 

o  
Privacy by Design (vs. “privacy-by-design”, “privacy by design”, and “Privacy by Design” unless part of a document title,

and

o  
“personal data” vs “personal information or “personally-identifiable information”

·        
Made minor corrections to the PbD principles and discussion in Section 2 and to the “Sub-Principles” in section 4

·        
There are also a couple comments embedded regarding use of some terminology, e.g. PbD
requirements

·        
The revised document is attached and renamed pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

Thanks, Fred

 

Attachment:
pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

Description: pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

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