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Public Review comments - editorial

From
Subbu Allamaraju <>
Date
2006-09-19T17:05:21+00:00
ID
Thread
Public Review comments - editorial
Here are some minor editorial comments on the second public draft.

Subbu

-----------------------------------
Sec 6.3: navigationalContext appears a few times with a trailing double 
quote - as in _navigationalContext"_. Something to clean up in your draft.

Sec 6.11.2: Uses "." in place "," in the second sentence (While the 
value of the navigationalContext ...)

In the same sentence, "and management of" reads better than "and 
managing of"

In the next sentence, "the purpose of this notification is to enable..." 
reads better than "... is enabling ...".

The third sentence is also hard to parse. The connection between "the 
purpose of this notification is" and "to manage an extension of this 
state" seems lost.

Sec 10.2.1.3: The meaning of the second sentence is not clear. The first 
and second parts of the sentence seem to be saying the opposite things.

Sec 10.2.4: The last sentence "Note that the discussion ..." seems
vague.

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