Minor revisions to pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1.docx

Dawn,

Attached are some editorial touch-ups to the new draft spec version, showing all revisions.

Basically, I have:

·        
Fixed a couple small typos (e.g. dates of publication, missing periods)

·        
Fixed some formatting (e.g. colored fonts, paragraph spacing, etc)

·        
removed some duplication (e.g. “(PbD)” and “(FIPPs)”)

·        
made more consistent certain key terms, notably 

o  
Privacy by Design (vs. “privacy-by-design”, “privacy by design”, and “Privacy by Design” unless part of a document title,

and

o  
“personal data” vs “personal information or “personally-identifiable information”

·        
Made minor corrections to the PbD principles and discussion in Section 2 and to the “Sub-Principles” in section 4

·        
There are also a couple comments embedded regarding use of some terminology, e.g. PbD
requirements

·        
The revised document is attached and renamed pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

Thanks, Fred

 

Attachment:
pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

Description: pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx