Hi Paul,
Yes, I edited your second upload. You will see the red-lines.
I changed all instances of “This demo” to “The demo” because I believe it reads better, and the context is clear as soon as someone has read the first sentence. But if you really insist, change it back.
Since the SC approved the draft today and Matt immediately sent it to Jane to get it posted ASAP, I think changes should be copied to the SC, so I don’t want to take this offline. We should be able to converge it quickly, before people get sick of the spam.
Best,
--Richard
From:
[mailto:] On Behalf Of Lipton, Paul C
Sent: Monday, August 26, 2013 11:39 AM
To: Probst, Richard;
Subject: RE: [tosca-interop] Groups - OASIS TOSCA Interop Demo - Abstract - 2013-08-26 RP3.docx uploaded
Hi Richard,
Thanks for the iteration. FYI, there were actually a number of minor and some medium level tweaks, as well, to sentences, e.g. for a minor one, don’t call the demo “the OASIS demo,” but rather “This OASIS demo,” unless you never think we’ll have another OASIS demo. :-)
More seriously, please bear with me, as I will have to take a look later today. Could you please confirm (offline if you want) that you based this on my second upload (revision #2) at
https://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/tosca-interop/download.php/50444/OASIS%20TOSCA%20Interop%20Demo%20-%20Abstract%20-%202013-08-26%20PL2.docx ?
If anybody wants Richard and me to take this often line, just let us know, of course.
Thanks,
Paul
From:
[ mailto: ] On Behalf Of Richard Probst
Sent: Monday, August 26, 2013 2:26 PM
To:
Subject: [tosca-interop] Groups - OASIS TOSCA Interop Demo - Abstract - 2013-08-26 RP3.docx uploaded
Submitter's message
Paul, if we want to put the value proposition first, we can do that. However, I think that this will require a little more editing than simply changing the order of sentences, so I am not comfortable with this revision. In the spirit of rapid iteration, here is a revision to your revision.
Best, --Richard
--
Mr. Richard Probst
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:
OASIS TOSCA Interop Demo - Abstract - 2013-08-26 RP3.docx
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Submitter
: Mr. Richard Probst
Group : TOSCA Interoperability SC
Folder : Documents
Date submitted : 2013-08-26 11:26:00
Revision : 3
